Hinkie had classes, but traded them for future classes and a guest speaker opportunity. He’s currently looking to swap the guest speaker slot for Starbucks gift cards and/or wi-fi passwords.

A GREAT POINT MADE BY MY COLLEAGUE STASSA and furthermore LET’S ALL LISTEN TO WHAT STASSA JUST SAID

FHA mortgages only require 3.5% down. It’s not nothing, but certainly more desirable than this.

He got fired when they moved to Baltimore after Modell promised he would keep his job, because Modell was human excrement.

Belichick took Cleveland to the playoffs in 1994 and led them to their last franchise playoff win.

The last Bronco to get a shot that good was Aqib Talib...On Aqib Talib.

If he doesn’t want to get hit in the head, maybe he shouldn’t wear a helmet. He’s just asking for it when he’s dressed like that.

Your use of the word “optimize” is perfect.

Fantastic, spiced donut it is!

I’m gonna need a pugh analysis on the pros/cons of all of my donut options. After you present me the facts and data supporting your decision I will throw it away and do whatever the fuck I want to do anyway.

This article is very timely as I’m in a “Fuck Management” type of mood and focusing all of my attention solely on donuts.

Should I start Jared Goff? (I’m not talking Fantasy Football, I’m his shift manager at The Home Depot)

Y would you do that?

I’m expecting 100+ from T.J. Houshmandzadeh. He’s due, and healthier than he’s been in a while.

Eh, I'm sure when the big moment comes the Seahawks will probably pass.

Can we get some deinterlacing up in this bitch? Jesus Christ. It is like this video was made by a bunch of high schoolers.

Can’t be talking about the Cardinals, since they lost tonight 4-3

Engineer: “Tim, what is the plan on the new phone?”

Cook: “Lose the jack, ain’t no going back. We got little to lose and much to gain because in my brain is a capitalist migraine. If upgrading the accessory becomes necessary then we see double green... shipping cash to Ireland know what I mean?”

🎶 Your agent called to say