My woke son Jarapahat, 3, is allergic to tacos. “Tacos are made by Monsanto,” he told me, “and you are complicit in the hyper-corporatization of the food industry.”

Not All Olds.

He did, but ultimately his request to trademark the crucifix was denied.

Do you have Krzysztof Komeda’s “Astigmatic”?

the Cuban sandwich is not from Cuba. It’s from Tampa.

This is an incorrect hot take. Cuban sandwiches are fuckin’ delicious.

Fragile + tangibly fungible.

I don’t know how Gare-bear feels about him but I think Jags Guy represents all of us as we try to follow this year’s election.

If Shillary hates memes so much, then why do I have photographic proof of her having invited a bunch of memes to the viewing of Bin Laden’s death??

Jesus may have had a high WHIP, but the whole stat book’s full of individual achievements. Noah could collect doubles, the Prodigal Son could get home, Eve could steal.

(n-1) = (5-11)

Joe Namath — now there was a Jets quarterback!

I didn’t know it until right now, but the words

I have noticed that when something momentous happens a lot more people show up here than are normally around, which means to me that it’s important for the general community even though they may not use it on daily basis. So, that’s hopeful.

That's nothing, Bartolo Colon can eat three GrandSlams while drinking bubbles.

Holy shit. IOC spokesman is really angling for a new job as Sports Information Director for an SEC school.