Sounds like he’s sick of hearing Trump ramble on about his Wins Above Replacement President numbers.

I think Pablo misunderstood Boston’s trainers when they recommended a seafood diet.

Yes, thanks for the reminder. I believe this is commonly known as McCann’s Law of Enforcement.

“As the equation explains, a baseball’s backspin gives it the lift it needs to leave the park, but its trajectory and force rely on the batter’s grit, determination, and ability to play the game the right way.”

So true. Also a great way to spend time with your buddies after your local congressman pays a visit.

Kelly added, “Also, not a lot of black people, which is nice.”

Does his sweatshirt says “Dreams Come True — Senior Sex, UNICEF, Adidas?” I guess this is one way to get your local NAMBLA chapter sponsored.

While Cam was busy stealing and disturbing the peace, mothers told their daughters to watch the cheerleaders and mascot instead, who were committing a variety of white-collar crimes.

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If you’d like a preview, go back and watch any Eagles game from this season.

When asked to comment, Kelly screamed “Mariotaaaaa!” and began sobbing.

With “Philthy Animal” Taylor leaving Earth only a few weeks ago, I’m guessing there’s a killer show in Hell on NYE:

Roger Goodell: [issues two-game suspension to everyone]

If he needs to get to England without a passport, he can try and hitch a ride with one of the thousands of migrant families streaming through Serbia. Worst case scenario is getting stuck in Germany and playing in the Bundesliga. Gives him a chance to improve his stamina and focus on road trips too!

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Hung up on Chip

“I forgot I wasn’t in college,” is the same excuse Mark Sanchez gives when he’s caught in the girls dorm after midnight.

I have a handful of vomit and piss stories, but my grossest experience was when I took NJ Transit to the Meadowlands with a train full of Jets superfans.

Spike’s “satire” argument is the same as Pierre Delacroix’s in Bamboozled.

You screwed up the headline AND the record. Golden State is 7-1.