He might just be into weed. Weed and hate.

Prez Marv: “I’d like to introduce y’all to my cabinet.”

Czech yourself before you wreck yourself sports fans

I have never claimed to be anything other than a simple genius with a profound knowledge of the science of baseball dialectics.

Very disappointing. I don’t think J.J. Watt would have asked for a refund.

Man, it is very strange to see a politician in a moment when they’re not surrounded by aides and sycophants. It’s unnatural.

My working theory is that after Ryne Sandberg left the Phillies, he kidnapped Willams and assumed his identity. I’d let the police know about this but they’ve stopped answering my phone calls.

A few minutes after this video hit Twitter, his hedge fund attracted $5 billion in new investments, with investors noting his consistent performance and results.

September 27th

What will it take for the NCAA to change course and allow universities to pay student-athletes? Another legal challenge? Vocal support from a head coach at a Power Five school (unlikely)? A congressional inquiry?

No worries—he might not even remember his nationality at this point because he’s been drinking to forget ever since he was drafted by the Knicks.

Rest in peace, Yogi. One of the few to stand up to Steinbrenner and win at final tally.

Rumor has it that Rangar needs the money due to the thousands he owes in back child support from his Odin-inspired wanderin’ days.

Trent Dilfer was the color commentary equivalent of the American abroad who repeats questions slower and louder to people who don’t understand English.

Don’t you open up that window.

Pictured: The four most common reactions I get from people in everyday life.

Football Predictions:

The dog making all sorts of growling noises in the background is a nice touch. There should be more dog DVD commentary.