This is the kind of outside-the-box thinking that we should encourage in children.

I feel bad for her. Dealing with cops nowadays is no piece of cake

You learn something new every day. Next time I make a pie crust I'm trying your vodka trick. I'm impressed!

what does it do in pie crusts? This is something I must try!

You add a few tablespoons as you add ice water. It makes the crust flakier because it creates pockets in the dough that evaporate quickly in the oven.

I used to work the overnight shift in a grocery store. There was this middle-aged lady who came in every night at about 2AM. She bought the largest size vanilla extract then threw out the cardboard packaging on her way out the door.

You can buy vanilla extract with food stamps. Getting drunk on 'tract, is a thing for people who can otherwise not afford alcohol.

Did they have to extract her from her vehicle?

Real vanilla extract is made from bourbon whiskey and vanilla beans. And if you want to really enjoy it as a beverage I recommend Penzey's Spices double strength vanilla extract. It's pretty good with coke and costs about the same as a good bottle of hooch. (As it should).

I respect you, and your service to keep us free. Thank you for helping our nation and the free world.

I threw in $100 to a GoFundMe for the shop because that's where my bridesmaids bought their dresses for my wedding. It's a nice shop with very lovely staff and it's good to know that Anna will be able to carry on!

BUT it's so much more exciting when people compliment your wedding dress if you have to sigh dramatically and say, "Thank you but you don't even know. I had this amazing dress we all fell in love with and Joseph would have just died to see me in it but then that terrible woman who thought of nobody else after not…

Jesus tapdancing Christ.

I made you an ebola wedding dress :)

If I were having a huge wedding full of people I didn't really care to see/hug/kiss, I would totally buy a dress from there just ward off the idiots. "Oh, are you sure you want to touch the bride? Her dress has Ebola."

Reported elsewhere that canceled orders cost the store X. I'd thought most bridal shops' policy was not to allow refunds once someone's ordered something, and it's unclear what her cancellation policy is (I presume one has to put down a large chunk of price on an order, at minimum). Evidently, her business…

I actually don't know! I would assume either juicing or from some health food store.
Honestly, I am going to stop at the gin and cucumber syrup. That's enough fancy for me.

I have a cucumber sitting in my fridge and while I know I should slice it for salads, fuck it. This is a way better use for it! Salads don't have gin.

what kind of tree