When I was a teenager I contemplated getting a tattoo. Then I thought about what it would look like when I was 80 and decided, “nope”. Such is life.

Considering porn has existed literally since cave paintings and the birth of the spoken word it’s really done a piss-poor job of ruining humanity so far.

Boomer Sooners baby!

When the rain washes you clean, you’ll know.

Give it to Greece. If they could re-use facilities, and utilize them as tourist attractions and as a mecca for athletic training in the off years, it’d actually provide a pretty significant economic boon for a country that needs it. But that wouldn’t line the pockets of the IOC members with hundreds of millions in…

It’s “lede,” not “lead.” Glass houses, and all that.

Well now that America is an emerging dictatorship itself, we can finally have our cake and eat it too

“So happy to have the Chargers here; in fact, we welcome all the NFL teams that visit Los Angeles to play the Rams. ... Wait, what?”

Where does Fleetwood Mac fit into all of this?

So it’s basically a remake of “Every Which Way but Loose”?

“Here’s a question: Should you go see Mother!, the new, polarizing, bearshit-insane film written and directed by Darren Aronofsky and starring Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem that everyone is talking about though apparently no one saw and the few who did see it had no idea what in God’s name was going on?”

If I like the Danzig song, will I like this movie as well?

thats exactly what is going on. If you are proud of something, you will want it to look as good as it can. If you are afraid of what people might say, you give it more filters than a socialites instagram and insert ants into the camerapersons shorts

Bob Dole agrees.

No, I’ve heard the podcast and...wait, no your theory checks out.

True story: All the Deadspin writers are really Drew Magary sock puppets. That pic of Tom up there? Just Drew with a beard and glasses.

I, too, am willing to take a polygraph to determine if I am the extortionist (I don’t think I am, but we should do a test just to be certain). And I will do it for an egg McMuffin and three hashbrowns. Call me, FBI*.

I say that, but only to gross out my wife. I picked it up from watching too much Monty Python.