Seriously, is there an owner of any major professional sports franchise that’s not an absolutely awful person, or is my intuition correct that one simply cannot be let into that club until they are willing to abandon all traces of humanity within?

Thanks for cruelly letting me know my intuition was spot-on. It also confirms my intention to never visit a professional sports event that’s not Judo.

Yes, but their awful takes are the deepest form of truth.

I hope your answers were different from hers, though.

Uhh, how long was Roger Ailes in charge?

100% of all the wrong ones.

“What is she even?”

Alas, they shall reap what they sow.

But not as psychotic as the fucks that employ her.

Are you doubting Roger Ailes’ hiring practices?

In other sad news, my parents still drop an envelope in the collection basket. The stats are, according to The Economist, that the Catholic Church paid out like $3.3B in the past 15 years and a couple of dioceses are declaring bankruptsy, which I assume is to prevent them from having to actually pay out the money.

Yeah, I get it and I’m glad you were joking. I guess the takeaway from this is that the fewer words we use, the more Poe’s Law comes into play.

Maybe he was complimenting her jackass of a husband.

He is a genius, if not not evil.

Yeah, this is the first one of these that I didn’t make all the way through. Shit, I bailed after two or three.

Don’t forget Food Network!

Yeah, I know, most people think that the thoughts originate in the brain. People used to think that the eyes created the light. Nope.

I only want TB to win one more superbowl for all 53 players chanting, in unison, “FUCK YOU RO-GER” over and over on that stage.

AND FUCK THE DEA FOR KEEPING MARIJUANA SCHEDULE I.

“It reminded me I need to cherish and make the most of the life I’ve got. Still working on that.”