*shakes fists at sky* KINJAAAAAAAAA!

No, no, no. You don’t understand. That was stupid on purpose. He was only pretending to be that obtuse. That’s SO funny, right? Hey, now watch them find all of the flaws in Godfather 2. That’s HILARIOUS! Oh...it’s not....well, it wasn’t meant to be funny. That’s why it’s funny! Don’t be a wet blanket!

The Internet: All Backlash, All the Time.

The future stuff is also a prequel of the future stuff from the other games, and follows Kristen Bells’s character as she attempts to get her degree in neuroscience. It’s basically a gender-switched Bully, but just the class minigames.

My boyfriend’s been playing this, and it does seem meaningfully different from the typical Assassin’s Creed. I’m not sure if it’s different enough for me to really want to give it a go, but it’s easier to admire the craftsmanship of the historical setting and overall visual design when you aren’t being completely…

Especially since Season 1 Faux-Wells proved conclusively otherwise.

For it to die in development.

Cold open: The Dwarves are fighting for their lives. The drums are banging out a staccato rhythm. A giant troll grabs one of the Dwarves by his feet and lifts him up.

When the fuck is my Paste Pot Pete script going to get picked up?

Kudos on this fantastic non-compliment.

Gratuitous Hobbit nudity. Like, if you think it’s too much, that’s when it’s time for more dong.

As much as I’m not sure what the point of an official “Lord of the Rings” series would be if it wasn’t, well, about the books

I want it not to exist.

Dark, gritty, lots of smoke and haze. The hobbits have tattoos and totally bad attitudes. Get some dubstep soundtrack and the directorial team from Spartacus on Starz.

I want it shot in mockumentary style like the Office. With Ron Howard narrating. And lots of cutaway gags.

Things I want from an Amazon LOTR show:

Definitely the cult this season on Supergirl that worshipped her.

Brick is pretty much my perfect movie. I enjoyed Looper, and Brothers Bloom was not without its charm, but it doesn’t matter: after Brick, he’s already got the lifetime pass.

I hope he does a trilogy where everyone talks like the characters in Brick

I assume that this movie is meant to be the launch of an Agatha Christie cinematic universe. I look forward to the Miss Marple/Poirot/Harley Quinn (not that one) team-up movie.