The age of the machine. 

This is a tragic and sad situation, I just spilled some sprite on my pants and it looks like i have a pee dribble stain in the front.

To all the people in 2015-2016 that said “Don’t try to scare us with the supreme court” go and fuck yourself. 

Sounds about white

“They’re intubating everyone entering Tampa General Hospital as a first line of action.”

Woulda been nice if white women could have taken one for the team and voted for Hillary, huh?

Counter-Conspiracy-Theory:

I know he has his own article elsewhere but where’s the love for Lamar Jackson? Finally getting the monkey off his back that is the Chiefs after being down by 11 in the 4th? Coming back from a dogshit first quarter to pass for 200 yards and run for 100 for the 5th time when no one else has done it more than 3 times…

The guy I go to has a sign out front that says “Barber-Surgeon.”

You’re 100% correct, but there are a lot of people that just want validation for their dumb decisions. It’s why Am I The Asshole subreddit exists.

Since Prince Dirtbag has suffered absolutely no consequences (for anything ever, as near as I can tell), I’ll take what I can get.

Sadly, that ain’t ever gonna happen. One, it’s a civil case. Two, the royal family is buoyed up by a lot of yes men and business interests. The media might scream, Johnson might aid and abet because he'd love the chance to be premier (actually he wants to be king but...) The monarchy still has power. 

Yeah, it was that whole Anita Hill thing that absolutely no one wanted to bring up during the primaries...

I say nuke it from orbit...only way to be sure...

Well, Bush 1 was also a conservative, so it’s not like he was likely to appoint a very liberal Justice.

“I’m willing to take up arms to defend this country!”

How dare you say that about someone with money!

The only thing that would be less surprising than these shitbags being from Texas, would be if they were from Florida.

Please let him replace Nagy and run a Justin Fields led offense instead

Bieniemy would be a brilliant hire for a lot of reasons, which is why the USC AD will screw it up somehow.