America in 2023:

It is illegal to file a false police report, so there is no need to pass another law. It is the equivalent of making it against the law to steal video games. That way you can be charged with theft of a video game and not just regular, boring theft.

Things to know about her:

In many of these cases I try to see the perspective from both sides.... you know, person 1 intended the comment as an compliment and person 2 was deeply offended. That shit can happen.

Amid all this, Pence assured donors on Wednesday that they expect him to qualify for the first Republican presidential debate by next week, despite the fact that he has about as many percentage points in the polls as Trump has indictments. 

Ding, ding, ding ding.... we have a winner here in the cool to awful sweepstakes.

“She is an immigrant black woman appointed by Obama, therefore she will be totally biased against Trump. She needs to recuse herself.”

I am trying to think of the last time a celebrity went from “seems nice and cool” to “holy crap, what a nasty psycho” this quickly. Maybe Ellen? Michael Richards (Kramer)? Do you all remember any other public image downfalls like this?

Republican Senators during Trump’s final impeachment trial: He is already out of office. If he did commit crimes, then that is a matter for the legal system. He is now a private citizen; therefore, I am voting to acquit.

Pence outside the courthouse: “I can not be forced to give evidence due to executive privilege.”

Help me fight this fake indictment!! Send money to me at <some Trump web site> and I will keep the drug dealers, rapists and communists from your door!!! Send as much money as you can afford!!!! Or else they will take your country away!!!!!

File this thought in the category of “I can’t prove it but I’m pretty sure...”

Aaah. I remember my first job. I learned how to operate and maintain a deep fat fryer at a burger joint. Then I was forced to work for no pay for the rest of my life and my children were subsequently forced to work for free as were all their offspring. Aah yes, the glorious benefits of that fryer training. I look…

Step 6) Watch out for Orcas.... the assholes of the sea.

Mike Lindell (the My Pillow guy) is two things: 1) former crack addict and 2) current paranoid political wingnut who believes all the crazy shit about, well, every crazy conservative thing. (Venezuela stole the election for Biden, Trump is God’s chosen leader, etc.)

Well, Rosa Parks took her stand in order to promote equality for people of color. George Santos is.... um, er, indicted for wire fraud, money laundering, financial crimes, for the minority group of, um, er... pathological liars? Fake volleyball players?? Non-Jewish people who are sort of Jew-ish??!?

1. She complains that some black guy stole her air pods.

• If someone is walking away from you, and you go towards them fast enough to tap/grab them, then you must be walking more quickly than them... which is to say she must have been coming at Wemby from behind pretty quickly.

I’ll go out on a limb and say that maybe sending your children into the care of a man with a history of mental illness and erratic behavior is maybe not the best idea??!?

Two things I learned today: