You had me at “sadness causes childhood cancer” and “amulet that cures COVID.” I talked to some angels and they told me that we should definitely be dating.

“How dare the DA investigate my client for fraud & theft, when there are unsolved murders in the district!!?!?”

So, I understand that Musk is some kind of mega-genius and I am just a humble bumpkin..... but can someone explain to me how a company that is losing millions of dollars a day is worth $43Billion???!? I guess, conceptually, if you had a super-clear and detailed plan on how to turn the business from losing buckets of mo…

So, the ballot choices were “racist trash-human” or “other”, and the fine folks from NC chose option A. Fantastic. Just flippin fantastic.

Uh... a cream to prevent concussions, and a nasal spray to help them heal??!?

It’s like skipping a show, when you’re part of the act..... isn’t it ironic.

Why do Jewish racists get a pass?

I kinda feel for Kyrie. He is really, really good at basketball. And I believe that he has a good heart. He says that he wants to be a source of love and light to the world, and I totally believe him. On the other had, he is gullible AF. The first clue was the whole “I am pretty sure the Earth is flat” stuff. Sorta…

My neighbor wanted to add onto his back deck, so he had to go to the zoning board of appeals. A bunch of his fellow townsfolk jerked him around for about 30 minutes, then pounded a gavel and promised to “review the submission.” We sold our house and moved before he had an answer.

Twitter won’t make money unless they can attract advertisers in large blocks. However, Coke, GM, and Frito-Lay aren’t going to send their advertising dollars to a site full of racist, Q-Anon, anti-science trash (the lawless hellscape that Musk referred to).

As my first act as CEO, I would like to assure our advertisers that I will not allow Twitter to become a lawless, toxic hellscape.

So, he gets suspended for sexual harassment in the workplace and the Nets are like: “sure, whatever. Can you work for us???”

How lovely, to believe in magic. I left our conversation feeling less jealous of Grote’s ability to commune with actual spirits than I am of her confidence in her own intuition.

“I am the least racist person in the world.”

If you asked me, far stupider things have been sold.

Imagine that someone tweeted out “Elon Musk will be at <location> on <date&time>. If anyone out there wants to do him harm, that would be a good place to do it. Not that I condone violence... I do not. But if you wanted to cause injury to Elon Musk, that would be the time and place to do it.”

I AM for sure old, and old fashioned. I believe in old-fashioned principles like: “people have individual rights and freedoms and it is the job of the government and our fellow citizens to get out of each others business.”

Things you can say to lose credibility, in increasing order of impact:

This is where we are.... these clowns would rather teach our kids that Nazis weren’t that bad than to teach the history of slavery and civil rights abuses in this country.

Thank you for doing the right thing, even when the right thing is not the easy thing.