And I'm gonna add this unrelated video of a not necessarily better player doing a not necessarily better thing in a not necessarily similar moment.

If you don't mind, I'm just going to paste a link here to this completely unrelated Derek Jeter story from a week ago, for no good reason: http://deadspin.com/derek-jeter-as…

It sounds crazy but not so much when you remember that some of our great country's congressmen thought (unfortunate) current Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas was just joshing when he put that curly pubic hair on her soda can back in the early 1990s.

Well, this just made some legless African's day.

As a Jew, I'm pretty disgraced that this idiot thinks he can speak for the rest of my religion.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Look, I know this post isn't serious and we're on Deadspin and whatever - but please don't perpetuate that "no snitching" bullshit.

Hoser Hoses Hose with Hose Hookup

Guess what, he plays for the other team.

Your anger and frustration is mis guided. Blame the IOC. Athletes began training long before Sochi was even given the games.

Totally unfair to the athletes to characterize them as such. They have nothing to do with anything mentioned here. Many have given up everything to get this far, yet have no say in where the games are held. The window for top athletic performance is narrow, maybe a decade, which is only two Olympics you are able to…

The athletes competing in the Olympic games have spent the better part of their lives preparing for this moment. They should be commended and supported for their hard work, not told to feel ashamed of themselves because of the corruption of others. They have nothing to do with it.

K.N.I.F.E. G.R.A.B.!

I figured he would have ranked Happy Gilmore's defeat of "Shooter" McGavin at the Master's up there too.

hmm...you can only bring Chris Farley back for one sketch: Richie Incognito or Rob Ford?

Incognito only pawn in game of life.

Jeez. Probably time to pull the plug on this Schiavo guy.

"All the greats put vaseline on their gloves."

Well the Cardinals can't really be too mad considering they all had Vaseline in their gloves last night as well

You becoming the self-anointed Knight Templar of Cardinals Nation has been one of the most overlooked aspects to Deadspin's epic troll job on St. Louis. You stay gold.