i always preferred chili's, but ours closed in 2015. i don't know if we still have an applebee's or not, haven't eaten there in about 10 years. every one i ever ate at seemed like a boring chili's w/ bland versions of the same food.

what does corey feldman have to say about this?

get the fuck out of here.

didn't lion king already come out 20-some-odd years ago?

chobani owns an entire planet in idaho?

just like everyone on the show

i'm not sure how much choice they made - they were trained to be assholes, like how most don't choose their religion - people just tend to go along w/ however they were raised. i suspect this kid will be no different (unless there's a divorce and he goes off to be raised solely by mom (and that's only on the…

no mention of 'young lady chatterly II.'

though when wasn't 'us weekly' just a celebrity PR clearinghouse?

“There’s not much interest in Funderdome on pirate sites probably because" it's got steve harvey.

i don't get it. one of that dog's ears isn't as effective as the other. that's just a statement of fact. it's not worth getting mad about.

HIV virus, the virus that causes AIDS

should read "fifth and seventh."

big deal. my mom's been fucking a dead guy for years. i call him dad.

my dad liked peanut butter, cheese, and miracle whip on crackers, so i am proud not to like the shit food that he did. on the other hand, we both liked steak. this kid's hypothetical dad probably also liked steak. maybe mcdonald's should start fucking up steaks.

"Figuring out what was “cool” in the ’90s was exhausting."

it was the most millennial response to anything that i've ever read.

contemporize, man

apparently the least imaginatively named of all my dogs (should have gone w/ margaret or marge). at least i've got (mr.) perkins to redeem myself. if only i had come up w/ that name and not my friend's kid.

With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. - Matthew 19:26