rip you for calling him tiny

“Wow! The new position of these chairs really lets you see the North Atlantic better!”

When asked about it, Epstein said it was “lot better than the crow than Joe Maddon was going to have to eat had we lost.”

Fair.

You can eat one sausage for the rest of your life (the sides change) but you have to eat the sausage at every meal. What sausage do you pick?

Were any of you slated to go on Any Given Wednesday?!

+1

If you ask me, they’re both over entirely over-exposed.

[Early 1990s commercial]

I’ve just always loved the Cubs because they play the right way.

Oh man, my Dad sure loves a twist ending. Best way to finish, in my opinion.

My grandfather died without ever having seen the cubs win the world series. So, my Dad, ever the crazy asshole he is, brought a radio out on the porch so gramps could listen in from heaven. We all thought he was going out there to jack off, but nope he was going out there to be with his Dad, which I thought was sweet.…

He would be verified.

Magic Johnson would be perfect for positive twitter.

+1

“....but did you see my two birds? BOY ARE MY ARMS TIRED!”

“Actually, I’m a urologist with two failed marriages who drinks to0 much and has an addiction to Beach Boys records and loves the big bang theory. Also, I love wearing leather on the weekends. I cry a lot. In my underwear. Hugging my lifesize teddy bear named Hank.”

“Sorry if that line was a bit rough everyone. I guess you could say I’m a bit Russ-ty!”

“I wouldn’t say I’m unattractive folks, but given that I’ve had two birds in my hand, there’s no way I’m getting one in the bush!”