Guarantee he voted for Trump.

Or when we found out that Col. Henry Blake’s plane crashed into the sea and there were no survivors.

The Unbearable Whiteness of Being

“Here we go structural fail-ure, here we go!” *CLAP CLAP*

What’s diabetes? Is that related to my diabeetus?

Or, if it’s a Penn State/Baylor game, that the stadium doesn’t spontaneously explode taking both teams and their fan bases with it.

Easily the worst thing about college football is that both teams can’t lose.

+1 appendix (maybe).

“Quietest brother gets no milk.”

Way to cherry pick that quote, assholes.
Buffer goes on to clarify, “But also with breasts...but with nipples, which Chuck also has/had. I mean, I guess they’re still there. But also with cornrows and without the goatee. Also, they have different taste in movies, but that wasn’t a big part of their fight plans,…

No, the clit is real. It’s the female orgasm that’s the myth.

It must be hard to know that you’ll never be as good at shouting things as your brother.

So Amanda Nunes is a myth?

They couldn’t reach agreeement on Hume’s first principles of the contents of the mind.

I’d start with when you get punched in the face and they fall down.

At what point do shorts officially become capris? We need a ruling on this pressing issue.

Same, but for watching pre-Christmas bowl games instead of reading.

He’s married to mediocrity.

Jordan Reed after every play.

Wow, those guys have some problems on offense.