I'ma let you finish, but Penfifteen has the best Amazon Review of all time!

OMG. "Satan's Diarrhea Hate Bears made by Haribo"

Give it up, dude. This is coming from a straight guy.

The David Blaine one made me scream with laughter. It's something I always kind of thought.

Your paragraph of Matthew McConaughey's home life deserves a comedy award.

SORRY STILL SEXY. TRY AGAIN.

Could be a coincidence, maybe not, but the only other person to "die" during their own POV chapter was Catelyn Stark. And we know what happened there.

Have you considered updating your resume?

"I'm Peter Baleish. I come from The Fingers. Give me five minutes and you will too."
-The Best Peter Baleish Pick Up Line Ever
(I dropped that one on my BF last night during the Sansa/Peter smooch and he lost it!)

An ouroboros made entirely of garbage.

#ServersAreHorribleToo #WhyWon'tYouDoaBCOAboutServers #CompleteLackofSelfAwareness

And it would have some obnoxious name, like douche-dick slippy slam jam.

Had to.

When children, teens and young adults do amazing things, I always think, "Wow. There is hope for the future." And when people from older generations, like Retired U.S. Army Col. Johnson, do amazing things, I always think, "I guess there was hope for us all along."

This gives me hope for a Taco Bell Lentil Crunch Wrap Supreme.

I keep thinking of Prince George as Stormaggedon, dark lord of all

THE NIGHT IS DARK AND FULL OF TERRORS FOR REAL THO

"Congratulations, Sarah Elizabeth! We heard you laughing!"