Also not a good look: getting fired from your job because you decided it somehow important to prove to the world that you are stronger than a 54 year old man.

The only thing Christie fantasizes about is milkshakes

This is all good advice, but I’m still going to keep avoiding eye contact with that masturbating guy on the bus.

girl

I honestly don’t know who would get up to watch these shitty teams play on a laptop if they didn’t have to. And I’m a bills fan.

These are all very good songs.

The first part is why I never, ever go swimming at night. Not the ocean, nor in a pool. Because when I’m swimming and zoning out (as you do when you’re doing laps, cuz it’s pretty boring otherwise) I have zero problems imagining something reaching up from the depths and grabbing me.

You saved the most terrifying part for last! Although, to be honest, I wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear about the demonic shadow creature in the pool either.

He makes the callback on that, though, and it lands.

Fell down seven times, got up, ate.

Color me silly, but I believe his point is sports betting should be legalized. I’d agree.

My unsubstantiated take: Daily fantasy is currently considered a “game of skill” (not gambling) and blackjack is a “game of luck” (gambling), but in both, there sure seem to be people who suck at it and who don’t suck at it.

Jay-Z was annihilated by Eminem on Renegade. I say this as a huge fan of 80% of Jay’s work and only MMLP from Slim.

Steven Colbert, as always, does a great job striking a balance between comedian and consummate professional when approaching virtually any topic. It is because of him that somebody my own age - a millenial, not yet quite 30 - is watching the Late Show, of all things, something I’d have absolutely guffawed at the idea…

Well if you have ever put in drop ceilings, its usually done after the walls have been installed

Andy Reid is glad this is finally over so he can start focusing on other, much more positive steaks.

My favorite episodes are when they eat stuff because it seems so unnatural, like they’re from an entirely different planet, where they don’t eat food, and their mouths chew like they’re trying to approximate human behavior.

So, what you’re telling me is that I need to brag about all of my belongings when I drop off my car with a valet.

But what if I have a REALLY good idea.