My recent ex was a Humanist Boyfriend. Maybe "everyone is discriminated against" but you sure seem to dislike female humans a little extra, guy! You sure seem to have some weird feelings about pregnancy scares and "crazy" girls!

you ARE EVIL

are we sureeeeee that that wasn't a quote originally from an SNL sketch?

this is mesmerizing and I suspect it will haunt me.

I started from the beginning, realized I couldn't sit through all the early Ross and Rachel drama again, and skipped way ahead.

Me too! And I don't even want to know how they started. I prefer the mystery.

That's brilliant. I'm sad pumpkin season is over but I could workshop this.

Do it! It helps! I'm still sad but I feel more....satisfied about it.

My mom always burns a bayberry taper candle (still not totally sure what that is) on New Year's Day, because her mom always did that.

ughhhh gross.

Luckily I don't think my dad was anywhere to be found. And I DID in fact catch a glimpse of boob - at least underboob - in the painting scene, for what it's worth. I think I stayed put for the car sex scene. You can only do so much to prevent your child from learning that sex exists.

My mom used to make me go brush my teeth when there were boobs on the screen which was almost never, TBH. Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman and 7th Heaven aren't really boob zones.

I cannot.

Most importantly, will 2015 be the year that the crop top goes away for good? And if not, will it be the year that I finally conquer my inner 12 year old's insecurities and WEAR ONE?

I like your coping skills. They match mine amazingly. Last night I ended up watching Catching Fire (who doesn't want to spend christmas night watching children murder each other?) and falling asleep without brushing my teeth. So basically I'm thisclose to living a glamorous life as a yoga instructor at a resort in…

That sounds fabulous!! Kinda want to do that right now!

Tolerable is good!

UGH I WISH. I FEEL U SO BAD RN

HEY ME TOO!! It was also his birthday 2 weeks ago and I didn't text him then either. We only broke up 3 months ago so like, perfect timing to struggle through all of the major holidays by myself.

Christmas night got me feelin some type of way...and that way is RESTLESS. How do you deal with restlessness and loneliness when you can't just get in the car and drive the fuck away? (orrrrrr is that exactly what I should be doing?? might be more productive than sitting around and eventually probably sending…