UM...recipe! don't leave me hanging!

LINDY I HARDLY KNEW YE.

I'm too tired and my day was too long for me to come up with a witty chocolate-based pun, but thank you for the laugh.

Does this mean I can invite people to the event of buying myself an ice cream cake to congratulate myself on getting into grad school?

I hate the song and the video but I support your reasons for liking it! Also because ditto about Blurred Lines!

Someone please come bleach my brain because that song was wretched and the color palette was even worse.

It's shitty but I guess better than the alternative: http://jezebel.com/gawker-medias-…

UGH EVEN WORSE is how I can't respond in .gif format!

"My mother had very humble beginnings—to put it mildly...She worked in the fields from sunup to sundown, from the time she could walk. She's strong as an ox. She learned how to break a chicken's neck and pluck the feathers when she was a little girl."

I love this and all, but people keep glossing over the sentence after the one about getting away with the poncho: "When I compliment her, she describes the look as "if Sling Blade and Pocahontas had a baby."

The literal worst kind of wedding.

Thanks! But...Oh god that's awful to hear. I noticed it forming and thought, well my mom's foot looks like that, that's weird. And then one morning I woke up and it fucking hurt and aren't I too young for this? I don't even wear heels, I wear like, orthopedic flats.

Guys it's my birthday! As of 1 hour ago!!

Omg the furniture one...I want to insert the emoji of the smiley face that's laughing so hard it's crying.

Or who, WHO would spend time logging into their account to leave a pointless comment on a blog they claim to eschew??

This was me for most of the list:

I need some ear, eye, and brain bleach over here STAT.

Yeah the thing with analogies like this is, they only work if you keep both levels going - the "this is what I'm saying" and "this is what I really mean" levels. If it becomes literal, then it's no longer an analogy, it's just someone being an asshole. I'm soooo done defending Gaga!

Remember when she did this?

This is the exact gif that comes to mind every time I think of le gaga now. I used to defend her up and down - "she's weird on purpose! the meat dress was a statement! she's really liberal! she used to be bulimic!" (btw let's not even talk about the time she had someone throw up on her in concert, because ART) Then…