Following her on Tumblr has made it wayy harder to be snarky about her.

as a tech person

hush your mouth! Jerry Orbach was awesome. He was in the original Guys and Dolls and 42nd Street. And yes, he was hot.

I'm hereby calling this, "The Slutterfly."

He's a feisty one.

Have you seen the Bora Bora St. Regis? Seriously a dream vacation of mine.

I'm not really a Disney person but having Flora, Fauna and Merryweather floating around my cake would have made me squeal with joy.

Worst wedding was the dry Baptist wedding. It was so boring I'm still traumatized. It was my husband's cousin, and her dad wanted to have a signature drink and a small bar. That got nixed by the groom, who was about to start a career as a church music specialist (yes that's a thing, he has a master's degree for it and…

At first I was like, "Whhhhhyyyyyy" but then I remembered that my mom gave me plane tickets, a hotel, and 3rd row seats to see the NKOTBSB tour when I was 26, sooo...

"Zayn the talented singer who has saved thousands of lives"

How exactly has he saved thousands?

What I have learned from this entire experience is that One Directioners have terrible grammar.

He's SAVING THOUSANDS OF LIVES! *sobs hysterically, posts cry-face selfie*

I imagine this was after dinner one night, dad was watching The Daily Show, girl is slumped on the couch buried in her iPhone scrolling through 1D pics on Tumblr not paying attention. Suddenly she hears the words "One Direction," she perks up, makes her dad rewind, realizes they were mocking 1D, becomes outraged,…

I love joking about terrorism.

1. I can't get mad about this because damn, they really missed the joke.

Attention bad tippers: Paris Hilton is now a better person than you are. BOOM.

#1 Literally pitches a tent. Result!

"See our ad in Golf Magazine."

That's legitimately adorable. Ok, I'm late to this bandwagon, but whoosh here I come along.