She's amazing in her seizure video.

You honestly believe the British Foreign Secretary had her investigated? Hahahahahaha. Politicians are the biggest starfuckers in the world and hitch their wagons to celebs all the fucking time because the are in fact, blinded by the fame. I seriously doubt he asked her to pee in a cup and probably doesn't know shit…

Please please please can I be unfuckable to this guy? I want to guaran-fucking-tee my "hoo-haa" is never ever in the same zip code as this asshat.

I had 3 guys in the same night try a variation of that "let me buy 30 seconds of their time" line. I was like "Go fuck yourself" to #1 but by #3 I thought I was on a hidden camera show. I'm thinking they were getting "coached" on how to "game" women.

My "Are you a woman quiz":

"When a guy buys all of your friends a drink and doesn't buy you one and then tells you it's "because you are frowning too much."

Please please do this, Jezebel.

Best. GIF. EVAR.

That includes choices as global as whether you’d prefer girl’s night over mini-golf with me...

AUUUUUUGH MIIIIIIIIITES

That was where my mind stopped reading although my eyes continued. TWICE A YEAR????? How many skin flakes are encrusted into the zipper?

All I can think of is how crunchy parts of it would be *shudder*

What are the chances he's going to show up in the comments as soon as his "Gordon Chaffin" Google Alert informs him that the lesbian shitasses have his number? Pretty good, I think.

haha, this got me too. I'm a pretty gross person myself, definitely not a neat freak or a germaphobe, but sleeping in a sleeping bag every night and only washing it twice a year is straight-up horrifying.

Proposed article title: "Rejected Lifehacker Tips"

Questions:

If he doesn't get why that's gross, I question his personal hygiene across the board. BRO DO YOU EVEN FLOSS?!

So does this dude just blather on about his fee-fees, or does he actually DO anything that might make him better able to serve the public? Because "expert-level knowledge of Nice Guy-ism" doesn't get you elected to anything but the Board of Losers.

I saw the headline and thought Hugo Schwyzer was running.