Me too.

NOT THE POLISH WEEK I WAS LOOKING FOR ANNA!!!!

I thought pearl necklaces were passe???? I'LL NEVER GET INTO A DECENT SORORITY AT THIS RATE AND MY LIFE WILL BE OVER

Oh god. That failed proposal with the giant teddy bear. Brutal. I feel so sad inside now.

I really hoped that the last story from Brian was the same guy mentioned in Matt's story.

OK I had to stop after the one about the kid's dad driving him to a soccer game so he could play pep songs on his clarinet. I hope that dad was sitting in his car laughing his ass off, otherwise there is no excuse for not talking his son out of it.

So wot's uh the deal with the sawed-in-half tennis ball thing? Expected an explanation by the end of that one, but it was still just "...sent her a sawed in half tennis ball."

Hushed, polite applause.

Because there was a hole in one.

Allenby is a world-class golfer. He should be able to get out of a tough lie.

but I'm assuming that *if* you did this to accommodate your son the other people in your party would be ordering off the menu... not just taking up space in a restaurant that could be used by people who actually want to eat what is on the menu.

I'd be more sympathetic to her, but I lived through a very similar story one night while out at a bar with coworkers. When we arrived, an extremely drunk girl who seemed to have lost her pants was telling the manager her iPhone was missing. No one could find it. She kept circling around looking for it, even going…

The phone was calling from inside the house.

Also 'this is the only place we liked in town'. How can you differentiate between restaurants you don't even eat at...

Normally, that guy is full of shit...but in this case?

The phone was a ghost the whole time.

I think I would be seriously creeped out by the people who totally ignored the eggs. That's some beginning of a horror movie stuff right there.

Yesterday 32:45 AM

Please tell me Nightmare Phone Girl just left it in her pocket or something...