This is the only Weird Al company I will accept:

Oh, this is a story ‘bout a guy named A.I.
And he lived in a sewer with his hamster P.A.I.
But the sanitation workers really didn’t approve
So he packed up his accordion and had to move
To a city in Ohio where he lived in a tree
And he worked in a nasal decongestant factory
And he played on the company bowling team
And every…

I am not a libertarian, but... if this guy drowns and his silly hamster wheel washes up in the canary islands in 3 years... who cares.

Don’t eat and drive. You’re literally putting yourself and others at risk. Take five minutes and sit down and eat, it’s safer and you’ll enjoy it more.

“The fact that this guy was still on the job not in jail is a fucking disgrace.

Well to be fair in MANY if not most CEO and upper level management most of their pay comes via stock options, not an actual paycheck. So while they may be “worth” or paid say $500 million since the vast majority is stock options most of that $500 million is on paper only, either because it hasn’t vested yet, or due to…

JFC, he beat a 3 year old unconscious in 2016 and got suspended for beating his wife/girlfriend in May. The fact that this guy was still on the job is a fucking disgrace.

Did Marlett knock the kid unconscious? All we know is that he spanked the boy, and then he hit his head hard enough to lose consciousness. Could have been a coincidence.

Your first mistake was unwrapping the sandwich. You must wrap the sandwich more tightly in the wax paper like a burrito and leave it in the open bag, which you also wrap around it, specifically on the bottom.

Officer too Friendly

#COTD

Seems she took that NWA song quite literally.

Executive compensation is way out of hand, but if this guy’s just exercising stock options that’s not the same as a guy bleeding the company to pay himself a massive salary.

Sounds like they’re finally reaching the ‘find out’ stage of all of this...

2003 wants their joke back.

You mean to tell me my all wheel drive crossover on summer tires can still get stuck? I though AWD was a free pass to go everywhere in all conditions...wow you learn something everyday.

It’s a downgrade because no one will believe your ‘I bought this before Elon went crazy’ sticker.

The sides look the same to me, unless you mean the chrome is black. I think any perceived difference in creases is just the lighting in the pics.

I will not be satisfied until the steering wheel is also a touchscreen, like a digital volume slider bar, and you slide the bar left or right to turn.  You can drive with a single fingertip, so innovative!

Sometimes, if they’re hanging on too long, overly determined to use one particular [kiosk], I’ll go around them to the open one since they clearly didn’t want it too much.