It's a social experiment. You're not the one learning. They are.

I once looked over my doctor's shoulder. He was looking at my x-ray. I had the cancer.

My bump, my bump, my burgeoning baby bump!

ORLY?

I take it you've never been to a beach in Florida before?

But that's all we feminists ask, that women are fairly compared to men

Email is a non-starter. They refuse to remember their login credentials.

I can't specify why, but being a person who is generally un-grossed out by anything or anyone, I get supreme ickies when it comes to the idea of people having sex with John Mayer.

"Amal existed at the Grammys and had the gall to be a normal person while not looking ecstatic to be allowed around such wonderful personages as these celebrities, even though she spends all day working with people who actually help run the world."

"Amal was a train wreck at the Golden Globes, "sashaying around the Beverly Hilton in her black Givenchy gown and opera gloves like she was the star of the night," and "giving judgmental looks to some pretty big names"

They're dicks, too! I once interviewed a marine biologist who worked with manatees and I asked how he decided to work with them. He said that he'd been enamored by penguins as a kid but after working with them up close, decided they were smelly jerks who bit him, so he shifted his focused to the sweet, dumb manatees.

Could be these jobs...

I'm in

Don't you know the best way to calm a penguin is to hug it?

5000 pcs of fish

They keep sending off for Sea Monkeys.

Oddly enough, a friend from high school actually worked in that post office for a while. She absolutely loved it, but that might have something to do with the fact that she absolutely hates people.

How much does it pay?

Be advised: Poop cannons