While the casting of a woman in an iconic male role is somewhat progressive, I’m told it will be undercut by the show’s updated title, The Greatest American Hero (For a Girl).

Diminishing Returns, the movie.

Counter pro-tip: I understand the appeal of that approach, but there is some danger in it. Namely, kids that age like what they like, and if it is banned from my house, they will see it at school or at the best friend’s house instead. I hate that crap, but at least if it is at my house I can exercise some control over…

I’d rather watch a documentary about the birth, rise and fall of the actual Chuck E. Cheese’s. It’d be far more creepy.

Oh God, no. Both my kids are already super into FNAF, and I can’t take any more. I would rather be ripped apart by a rampaging pizza place robot than sit through a feature length dose of that crap.

It is good.

You, my friend, are not that good at this.

What happened? Did someone trick Keyser into saying his own name backwards?

They can replace him with Stanley Tucci, no one will notice.

Because He-Man has, and always will, fucking suck.

There, there, Tom.

Philadelphia, where it’s better to be Big Dick Nick than St. Nick.

“Up next we have Mikey from Jamaica Plain and he thinks everyone hates Tom Brady because they’re actually gay. Go ahead Mikey.”

Was it... Frank Stallone?

While I agree completely that 3 out of the 4 Lucas-directed movies are pretty dire, the guy did invent Star Wars. So it’s not like he had some boss above him allowing him to continue making them.

Now I know what my going-out look will be if I ever come into money.

Man, life seems pretty sweet when you are out of fucks to give

If you want to talk shit about The Beatles, you better have Quincy Jones’ resume.

I told that joke to my wife. She said “so, only charging a penny, huh?”

None of these are the true winner of the best Super Bowl commercial, which goes to the Toledo area Kroger that has smoked sausage for $2/lb.