I'm not sure what kind of game this "Buck Naked Pens" is, but if this fellow's uniform is any indication, it's a lot like the games of "Can You Keep A Secret" we used to play afterschool with Mr. Chester.

Oh God, I SO fucking hope the Niners AND the Seahawks both lose by 30 this week.

"If that guy doesn't have to change his name, then neither do the Redskins."

He's the quarterback the NFL deserves, but not the one it needs right now...

Look, if Tim Tebow was your new co-worker, you'd be trying hard to help him find another job too.

MOM: [gathers kids around kitchen table] I'm sorry, guys. The last thing I ever want to do is embarrass you or make you look silly. You know that, right?

You don't seem to understand how jokes work.

Sure, they may be sad now, but the nice thing about living in Alabama is that you have two good teams to root for. I bet there's a smile on their faces after Auburn's win on Monday!

I got my tickets last night. Super excited about going. I've never been to a Packer playoff game and I could not pass up the opportunity. I know it'll be cold and I would have a much easier time if I stayed home and watched it. But fuck it. This is a chance that may not come around again any time soon.

"All this talking & texting, he NEVER mentioned a girlfriend."

If the Angels want to pay fair market value for Trout, about $1.85/lb.

I like the Yankees chances if he hits roughly .600 with 486 stolen bases and is a vacuum in centerfield.

It is not a threatening note, but earlier this summer I found a poem that I wrote about the Baltimore Orioles from my 2nd grade journal. I grew up in a dedicated O's household in Baltimore, as evidenced through the line "If you weren't here, I would be dead."

No Seahawks beyond this point.

I enjoy commenting on Deadspin because every time I think I have gone immediately to the lowest common denominator, three burners come in and immediately get even more useless and stupid than I.

Or those who want to rank him lower to show all the common folks they don't know their precious sport.

He doesn't even take it off to poop. The thong just cuts his turd right in half. He looks down at his hewn log and smiles. "That's a well-cut loaf," he says to himself.

Just a thought, but maybe he should leave those sharks the fuck alone? Not from a danger standpoint, but from the fact that they're wild animals that don't need some dipshit treating them like a thrill ride...

"We should make Jonathon Martin stiff arm sharks to toughen him up."- The Dolphins front office