Thanks very much. I was trying to put it in a context that Real ‘Murricans could make sense of. Please feel free to re-use.

To be clear, he has only engaged in domestic violence when the victim MADE him do it.

There are some people (like me) who really never give their car a second thought as long as parts aren’t falling off while they’re rolling down the freeway. Then there are other people who are constantly tinkering with their vehicles, upgrading parts, performing maintenance, washing and waxing them...

I know it sounds like wishful thinking, but I truly believe that what you are seeing are death throes. Take a look at the demographics of the United States. In particular, look at the last column on the right (%pop change 1990-2012).  They are being outnumbered, quickly (and vastly) - and they know it.  That is why…

An Austrian guy? Probably not, no. 

In an attic somewhere there is a portrait of Steve Bannon looking like Chris Hemsworth from the first Thor movie.

I made queso.

Many of them consider the very existence of ESPN-Deportes to be a personal attack against their way of life.

I just wish that he has a stroke that renders him unable to speak, and unable to walk, and that he lives for another thirty years in such a state.

Yeah, as a white male I have no beef with this all. If I'm desperate to see a white face I'll just look in the mirror. 

[age of Roger Federer at his death] minus [duration of match]

When you said “Grandmaster caught cheating in the bathroom” my first thoughts were of sympathy towards Mrs. Flash. 

I saw that too. It was both though, really. Serena didn’t have it together when the match started, and Halep beat her so efficiently that Serena never had a chance to get it together.

In a bit of a surprise, Halep needed just 56 minutes to defeat arguably the greatest player in the sport’s history.

What I remember best is when a player called an ump a "motherfucker" and was told "all right, you're going to regret that" and thereafter every single pitch that came his way - even if it bounced five feet in front of the plate - was called a strike.

I like to think that Ray is hamming it up and is more like a wrestling heel than an actual real-life jerk. I do enjoy seeing Tombstone lose, though, because it’s so terrifying. It’s like seeing someone manage to get the better of Jason Vorhees.

You forgot Battlebots! It provides all of the senselessly delightful violence of football with none of the brain trauma or off-field spousal abuse.

“And they said my child was being abused...” - Tyreek Hill

Nah, until he gets the hand stamp it’s still unofficial.

Between what I fully expect to be a limp-wristed response from the league and the Chiefs to the fact that Tyreek Hill either abused his child or is covering for someone who did, and my Raiders signing that honorary psycho Incognito, I have reached my tipping point. I think this is finally going to be the year that I…