You'd get more mileage by telling him he looks fat, making fun of his baldness, and offering him a breath mint or two for that...wait, is that halitosis or body odor, you know what, maybe it's both, but good God it smells like an armpit crawled in your mouth and died. 

Landon Donovan’s has gotta be up there too.

Save this one for last; it’s probably the best.

The only reason the NBA issued the fine was because their original threat to exclude the Knicks from next year's playoffs was met with laughter.

Yep. If the only thing holding you back from the NBA is the one-and-done rule and your options are 1) spending a year playing for free in Kansas or Kentucky, 2) doing a year in Europe, or 3) heading to Los Angeles (USC/UCLA/LMU...am I forgetting anybody important?) and getting paid while also getting a year’s head…

Maybe he/she means Canadian minutes?

The world definitely needs MORE people that quote John Steakley, not fewer. My favorite is "Bullies don't want to fight you. They don't want to fight at all. They just want to beat you up."

Well I for one appreciate the fact that people are willing to fund the Advanced Center for Figuring Out What the Heck Is Causing All This Erosion At Our Beachfront Villas and Negatively Affecting Our Property Values.

From here on out, always and forever, until the day he dies and thereafter as well, I encourage everyone to refer to Kraft as "Handjob Bob". 

From the fanciest black tie dinner party to the lowest gathering of hobos and drunks around a trash can fire, there is one thing that will alway remain true: people with guns ruin fucking everything.

But that’s only because Williams & Sonoma stopped producing the ornamental fire buckets that they had traditionally used.

We spent a few days in that area maybe four years ago just after Christmas and it was all very, very strange. Outside of the touristy areas, it was very pedestrian-unfriendly.  It kind of felt like the California equivalent of Cameron Frye’s house.

I'm that way with Kevin McHale.

She definitely has the ability to Locke things down.

...in ten years any one of us is likely to be living a much, much better life.

They probably use the exact same "look what you made me do" logic when they beat their wives.

After a few years in Houston, Lowry couldn’t get along with head coach Kevin McHale...

I think it would be wonderful if the Raptors pointed at Mark Stevens as the reason they won this series. “We were on the ropes, and what he did really brought us together as a team,” and “I think when he pushed Kyle Lowry, that’s when things really changed for us, it gave us a real sense of purpose" and such.

Very clever, that Google. I hope that when the singularity hits it has little interest in the affairs of humans, as opposed to deciding we're a potential threat to its continued existence. 

I'm quite pleasantly surprised! They sure made it into a nail-biter though, didn't they?