“No, no, no, you’ve got the talking points all wrong. The Russians are our friends now. The AR-15 is to protect against an invasion of feral pigs.” - NRA spokesman

Yes.

Futurama.

After yesterday’s Auburn gymnast video and then this today, and knowing that the Bob Kraft video will eventually turn up in the future, they should rename this site “eyemurderspin.com”

They just need to spin it as a positive and use it for marketing, the same way the monster truck and drag race folks do with the eardrum-rending noise:

I feel like this comment will resurface if deadspin ever gets their hands on the Kraft tape.

A long time ago I heard a soccer announcer say “players win games, coaches lose them, and referees ruin them.” I think that’s particularly applicable here.

Please feel welcome to re-use it. 

[whistles]

I’d rather it happen that they declare all of his Nuremberder Rallies to be open carry zones, and he is caught in the crossfire of three dozen “good guys with a gun” shooting at each other after they are spooked by the sound of a balloon popping.

“Oh, sure, this time the officials are actually paying attention to what happened with the athlete’s legs.” - Auburn fans

I hate when students burn couches as a way to celebrate (or lament) the results of a sporting event. The only time it’s appropriate to burn a couch is whenever you feel like it, without any connection whatsoever to any outside event, done purely as a random act of wanton destruction.

Yeah, but what if you go live in one of those isolated places and someone comes and builds a windmill nearby? Bang, instant cancer.

Top notch gif and username!

I am glad that Turner was able to do it on the court, because my understanding is that her backup plan was to cut the brake line on the UConn team bus.

I feel kind of guilty that I’m getting any stars at all - the original poster is the one who found the article.

I don’t know if the article author (Prentice Elliott) gets credit for the headline, or if someone else came up with it, but whoever did deserves some kind of award.

“Absolutely not. In fact, our curriculum is specifically designed so they don’t even accidentally read about it in books.”

Anyhow, we’re both really looking forward to our wedding night.

I'll stand by ya.