That’s good TAWMMY’in!

I can't decide if that beats my own situation: not communicating with my family at all. 

Are you talking about the Kraft video or the Mueller report?

You sound just like a young Brett Kavanaugh during BEACH WEEK.

That’s not entirely true, he’s surrounded by people who he thinks he’s smarter than. And I get the impression it’s not difficult to trick Trump into thinking he’s smarter than you, which is why he’s failed so spectacularly as a businessman.

“Nah, bro, it’s easy! You just close your eyes and pretend you’re kissing your sister.” - DoJu

“Nonsense like this is how donuts get a bad name!”

FWIW if you miss KSK we’re carrying on over at doorfliesopen.com

“That’s my favorite verse!” - Jefferson Beauregard Sessions

“He even had the temerity to be offended when I asked if his mother had ever worked as a prostitute!”

Which one is your go-to? The $3.49 double cheeseburger meal is my current favorite.

That’s good frugalizin’! Burger King sends me coupons every month in the mail - you should see if you can get on their mailing list and then you can cut your costs even more.

“These Nationals games are getting too expensive, and it’s time to send a message to ownership! From now on I’ll be getting blackout drunk on beer at home!”

“I feel like he’s really jinxing himself with that ‘Born 2 Ball’ business. I meank I was born with both of them too...”

And that's after recording them on DVR and skipping through the commercials!

Just wait until you find out how Tyreek Hill’s kid really ended up with a broken arm.

I haven’t seen a baseball player get wrecked this badly after sliding into something since Wilson Contreras.

It’s been reported that each of President Shit-For-Brains’ golf trips to Mar a Lago costs taxpayers $3.4 million. So for less than four fucking trips to cheat his brains out on the golf course and then pose for photos with crooks and grifters, the administration could avoid the entire $12.5 million in cuts.

Nope, it was evil mastermind Mark Davis.

That’s a good point. I have a vision of a drug-friendly version of Vegas (Cannabis, California) springing up halfway along the route, but even the most wildly successful version of something like that wouldn’t justify all that many weekday trains.