Finally, we have some evidence that Adrian Peterson isn’t a brilliant mind.

The NFL’s official twitter messages are even lamer than I had imagined. Damn, I got this Deadspin commenting thing DOWN. Hilarious comment to get everyone through the work day? Yes, please. Greys? Don’t tell me I should be in the greys. I’m too busy writing this comment.

This is going to be devastating news for his family when they sober up in 3 days.

It’s doctored though; look at all of those fans in the background.

What home-game quirk will be next for the Patriots? Distracting the coach of Buffalo by decorating the stadium with pictures of feet?

It’s fitting that this column should have an asterisk.

Tough not to when Tyrod Taylor is your starting QB.

So are you going to tell us the four banned things he receieved [sic]?

I laughed.

Carly Fiorina is trying to enlist Curt Schilling, as they both know how to destroy a business.

Great piece, I love it.

This is a great piece, but a bit premature, since the Second Circuit could overturn this decision.

The team is now claiming it was an indirect attempt to honor the Native American tradition of bartering.

It’s fine now, but what happens in 15 years when a mentally debilitated David Bowie starts coming around?

They need to get Dustin Johnson up there to sing “Mr. Brownstone.”

This reminds me of when the producers of Draft Day completely ignored reality and made the Browns look smart.

misfire

I laughed out loud. Nice.

I gotta disagree here Tom. As a holder of a JD, I can tell you that advertising it rarely makes people like you.

Great, now the team is going to be subject to more ridicule from Dave Magary.