You’ll have to excuse him, he’s a bit green

And their only loss to date was against...the University of Iowa! HAHAHAHA SUCKIT CYCLONES I DONT CARE IF WE LOST TO NORTHWESTERN IM CRYING INSIDE

And this will forever be the moment when McElwain finally realized he was the only girl in town

“Big man touchdown”? This PC culture is bullshit

Concussed Joe Flacco looks unsurprisingly like unconcussed Joe Flacco

Oh?

So you’re saying she’s like a rolling stone

Magicians give me Bluth balls

Well, there’s also this whole baseball thingamahbob happening

I’ve spent most of the game trying to figure out if that’s Larry King or Charlie Sheen behind home plate

Oh but he is, but he’s not in his oeange

Not sure too many reasonable people would really characterize giving your wife only part of your attention during child birth as “supporting your wife”

That beard is like, I want to be Lincoln AND I wanted a bowl cut, but the barber missed

Marshmallows are awful (unless in lucky charms form) and smores are worse. Come at me

“always aloft and free”

Who’s a ticklish whittle boy? You’re a ticklish whittle boy!

I seesaw what you did there

Yea I’m missing whatever the screw up was here

His second cousin Fudge Rodriguez was very disappointed after taking a closer look at the composition of the playing surface

“No 3rd quarter lead shall be safe!”