I sharted while standing at a urinal in Cowboys Stadium. The insult to injury was that there were really long lines, so I had to turtle walk out of the bathroom and back into the bathroom line in the concourse.

If you have any old man relatives, ask them. My favorite hand tools came from raiding my Grandpa’s basement. Other than that, garage sales.

Meanwhile, stupid ass hockey is the only sport with a decent instant replay system

I guarantee if you have $350 seats the ushers at Nats Park let you do whatever the fuck you want

It's amazing how often this point needs to be reinforced.

Washington DC is perfect for you then. Local coverage of the playoffs never lasts longer than 2-3 weeks.

My create-a-player from MLB The Show

“He may be the GOAT, but is he elite?” pondered everyone inside the building

It’s almost like Boston got together and said “let’s just treat this one black guy like a king to make up for all the other times”

Looks like its based on proximity and popularity. For instance in VA and they suggested the Orioles but not the Ravens (Orioles are more popular in VA since there was no DC baseball team until recently.)

I tried to make "long ding" happen, a shoutout to the former Jacksonville kicker of the same name, but it never caught on.

If anything, Goodell should be sympathetic.

Even if you pretend to believe Calipari's denials of his own personal involvement in the rules violations at UMass and Memphis (and, c'mon, almost certainly at Kentucky, too)

I love it when builders use seasonable weather as an excuse for project delays.

Yea its a cultural difference. Most of Europe recognizes that alcohol is part of its culture and allows kids to ease themselves into it. The U.S. on the other hand criminalizes normal human behavior (drinking before age 21) so we have to pretend that crap like Mikes Hard Lemonade are meant for men in their late 20's…

Some kids in my 9th grade class took a trip to Germany, and we quickly found out that restaurants would gladly serve radler to a table of children because it is so low in alcohol. We'd still get buzzed but even for a bunch of 14-15 year olds it was pretty mild.

Why don't you Marylanders either speed up or get your 50mph driving, double-Cowboys flag waving, white Cadillacs the fuck out of the fast lane and maybe Virginians will be nicer to you

Yea I live in VA and caught myself thinking it would be kind of fun if UVA did something worthwhile in a sport other than lacrosse for once. But then I realized that if they were ever good at football or basketball, it may spawn some kind of UVA superdouche the likes of which we've never seen.

Yea look at all those white guys on Duke this year. However they should all be ridiculed for having the exact same haircut

I know you're right, but arguing about who is the 68th best team in a sport just shows how stupid sports can be.