literally every question he answers should be followed by “how the fuck are you going to pay for it when you want to bankrupt the country with your dumbass tax cuts”

“in space, no one can ask you awkward questions about the enema bag you left out. its called hygiene, mom” 

yes but they both have the same outcome for an innocent-until-proven-guilty doe-eyed beautiful young man with endless potential and a good family: despicable life-ruining torture from which he shall never recover

ThinkProgress has a good summary of the last week’s exploits

i spent the longest time looking for 404's path but it couldnt be found

he’s obv not very good at his job. he let someone steal Kim’s shirt! where’d it go! those animals

What Would It Take for a Sex Robot to Pass a Turing Test?

in this new film, Jack Sparrow discovers a legendary ship that can also go into space and him and Keira Knightley and that other guy fight other space pirates for a chance to meet Zeus who will give them the fabled Chalice of Alcoholism before creating a black hole that requires Jack Sparrow to sacrifice himself but…

yikes!

lol this joke is meant to be good-natured, please do not take too much offense

because knowing what led up to a murder is important? wtf kind of comment is this

what are the chances the 14-year-old was abused? 80%? 90%? i mean patricide is pretty extreme

In 1995, the New York Times reports, Donald Trump declared a $916 million loss on his income tax returns

yeah it is. but i love it mostly because it is so on brand

hehehe Massive Bank Advance

“I’m doing a Day of the Dead project and showing it at Day of the Dead festivals. How can I promote that when the head of Oculus is giving money [to support] Trump - and Trump wants people in my community to be deported?”

this is the most amazing piece of text that has ever existed

he’s right tho. when a sleeping person gets that 3am phone call, theyve gotta get out of bed, drive to the panic room, and then, groggily, decide the immediate fates of thousands of people. donald trump is already there. he’s fuckin’ buzzed and raring to go. donald trump has already dispatched the secret marines.…

for the record, i really didnt mean this to be a “what about the men” crybaby post. how did that douchebag get ungrayed