lol this joke is meant to be good-natured, please do not take too much offense

because knowing what led up to a murder is important? wtf kind of comment is this

what are the chances the 14-year-old was abused? 80%? 90%? i mean patricide is pretty extreme

In 1995, the New York Times reports, Donald Trump declared a $916 million loss on his income tax returns

yeah it is. but i love it mostly because it is so on brand

hehehe Massive Bank Advance

“I’m doing a Day of the Dead project and showing it at Day of the Dead festivals. How can I promote that when the head of Oculus is giving money [to support] Trump - and Trump wants people in my community to be deported?”

this is the most amazing piece of text that has ever existed

he’s right tho. when a sleeping person gets that 3am phone call, theyve gotta get out of bed, drive to the panic room, and then, groggily, decide the immediate fates of thousands of people. donald trump is already there. he’s fuckin’ buzzed and raring to go. donald trump has already dispatched the secret marines.…

for the record, i really didnt mean this to be a “what about the men” crybaby post. how did that douchebag get ungrayed

-- Brad is subject to random drug/alcohol testing.

this is truly Obama’s America, where jocks are now “geeking out” all over the White House. Jesus never wanted people’s feet to be above their heads or else we would have leg ears. Make America Stop Tumbling Again and Again and Again How Do You Not Get Dizzy

a sexy blender

why is sleeping a good thing? i want a president that has never slept, a president that doesnt need to sleep. when do Islams attack? while we are sleeping, those cowards. i want a president that can keep me safe like my dad kept me safe. he would watch me all night every night to protect me from Africans he said and…

The split of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie that nearly split Hollywood in two literally no one cares about except tabloids has since led to an aftershock on an entirely different battleground

um they wont need to. under Chairman Trump they will learn how to work the system and take their money back from the corrupt government who just wastes their wages on things like roads and schools. why, i was just driving on a road and it was fine. why does the government need money for something that is fine? to line…

is aping Rihanna

i was about to say the same thing