the trick is to glue your pants to your thighs. the rashes are not fun, but we all must suffer for fashion

hey have some understanding. this year it is nearly impossible to differentiate between “conservative news stories” and “lies about minorities”

my IQ has dropped so much this year through osmosis

are we positive that they havent just used that one diagram for 30 years?

it is our duty as empathetic Americans to do this nation a great service and ban strip malls

while Hillary was in the Senate we voted to give W the legal authority to investigate and impose sanctions on Iraq only to have him jump the gun and kill 100,000 civilians

i have been chugging high fructose corn syrup in remembrance

when is Jezebel going to recognize that “Silk Spectre” is a fucking awesome codename

“’ghostly sleepwalkers,’ a train wreck”

“She has evinced a lamentable penchant for secrecy”

goddamn that’s a pretty cat. people keep posting their ugly cats and are like “look at my cute cat!” and I’m just like “gtfo”

im nearly positive one can catch toxoplasmosis through cat pictures, be forewarned

I’m still not sure how this has anything to do with Brad Pitt, can we please stay on task? i know you’re new to Jezebel but here we like to focus on things that things that matter. this isn’t Gawker 2 with makeup tips. i really just want to see pictures of people’s cats

a reporter

if youre into reporters, i guess

but how will this video effect Brad Pitt’s reputation

like i dont know what performance art awards exist but this should be a serious contender

this is the kind of pillow competition action i come to gawker for

this is the kind of pillow competition action i come to gawker for