ssssttttoooooppppppp. who cares about any of this? its two people and a handful of kids, all of whom are rich as fuck. everyone is going to be just fine. im sure we are to expect at least 25 more posts about this divorce, but i say nip it in the bud. ban all celebrity divorce posts. do it for me. do it for america.

i want to replicate my skull fortress there and live in it

goddamn this is a good post

lol that is also my heritage except our family joke is “Drink, drink!!! But not too much because your grandfather was a violent alcoholic and you have the genetic predisposition to abuse substances.” samesies almost.

? she was talking about anti-white racism. before Obama, white lives mattered too, but now its all “racial bias is inherent in the justice system” and then i got a speeding ticket like any of that crap was true. thanks Obama.

it depends whether or not the debates do fact checking. literally every other thing out of his mouth is either a lie or a contradiction. if the moderators actually call Trump on his madness then i think it will be clear to most people that this guy is a barely functional human being

you have good stories. i hear Ronald Reagan was the devil. we can put people on the moon, but we cant provide them the means to eat? there’s money to bomb hospitals, but none for affordable housing?

i like what’s on Hillary Clinton’s website: https://www.hillaryclinton.com/issues/criminal-justice-reform/

responsibility lies almost entirely with the senior leadership. ive never envied beat cops their jobs; most are modern day heroes. im pretty sure like 45% of america has un-treated mental illness and we all love to get fucked up. but when police unions keep bad cops on the street and a culture of militarism arms a…

what if it was aliens

if the footage exonerated our alleged murderer i think it would be released right quick. delaying its release is like stopping the vent in a steam kettle; everyone now knows shit is fucked up. police need to start owning up to their actions and leading with the truth and the steps theyll take to train their dudes not…

Title IX is fucked.

ugh terrible. way too much hair on her head. cut all that hair off! ain’t nobody got time for that. and like, real nice teeth? no. get those teeth outta here

it was obvious that he was well versed in black magic

you guys should do a piece on Graves as its amazing and made me cry patriotic tears

Dear Dr. NerdLove,

“Donald Trump says you’re on drugs. Would you be willing to piss into this cup on-air?”

it is a great comment and i spend far too much time on the internet

hey i am also now a jezebel reader! i just dont care about like half the posts

but it wasnt that effective. i love this. she has found the window into my millennial heart and can see my secret desires, most of which involve zach galifianakis