Toddler in Chief indeed. Has the exact same filing system. Likely the only reason those two were fired is because, in this admin’s mind, if there’s no one doing the task, the problem doesn’t exist. Like when a toddler closes his eyes to make YOU disappear.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🥂🍻

Hey, Canada! Californian here. Any desire for more beach front territory, a healthy tech sector, and kick ass tacos? Because if you were to roll tanks flying the maple-leaf flag down here I don’t think we’ll put up much of a fight at this point. Oregon and Washington will probably be pushovers too. Just sayin’...

Having spent some time with a few Trump die-hards, I think I’ve worked out why they continue to support him (aside from open racism/xenophobia—which, to be fair, not all of them share, though most clearly do):

He’s behaving in the same fashion they imagine they would when faced with world leaders with whom they…

Scissoring is the new team building fad.

The one from Canada you met at Niagara Falls?

The Warriors or Cavs (ha) should say “damn, we were going to come.” Then Trump will be all like “These young men are patriots. Invite is back on.” Then the Warriors or Cavs should just send a shirtless JR Smith to dribble out the rest of the term.

any Democrat that does not include “the GOP is committed to bringing back denial of health insurance for pre-existing conditions” at the top of their campaign mailings should be smacked repeatedly with a large mallet

How about rebranding “tax incentives” as “corporate welfare,” you feckless cunts Democrats?

Average Trump voter: That’s fine! Only black people and illegal aliens use welfare, right?

Security breach.

Tissues aren’t enough. That’s what the mattress was for.

Gotta have a soundproof booth to get away with that. Oh, wait . . .

I want to believe it’s lotion, and tissues.

Oh the masculinity humanity.

Wow, I can’t believe Fox News just allowed thousands of their viewers to be turned gay like that.

Can you imagine a worse fate than having a 20 minute conversation with Sarah Huckabee Sanders?

Yeah, instead of the post-game press conference Lebron should be taking questions from the moving company he already hired.

He’ll be the face of the franchise when LeBron leaves this summer!

Watching tonight’s game, man, the suspense was killing me! Okay, I’m exaggerating. The suspense was putting me to sleep and making me wish I was dead.