Okay y’all know I’m not one to defend Tesla, but in this case I’m not surprised. Everybody struggles with roads like that.

3rd Gear: I seriously hope the SEC brings the hammer down over this stupid bullshit. But realistically, the SEC “hammer” is a $100 million fine that Musk would laugh at.

I’m gonna buy one and turn it into a mobile vaccine center.

This thing is gorgeous. I genuinely don’t know what values are like on something like this, but values on old toy roadsters do seem to be slowly creeping up, especially when they present nicely.

Stuff you tow isn’t free, my guy.

“Them Duke boys are at it again. Will Bo and Luke be able to get out of this pickle?”

This makes sense because Jesus drives a giant dually pickup. It’s in the Bible, look it up.

Yeah my bad, I’m not rich.

That’s fine, but it doesn’t change the fact that this is a shitbox from the worst era of American carmaking.

That’s definitely possible, yes. Still intensely no dice.

$30K for a twenty year old American shitbox! $30k! Are you fucking kidding me?

The point of a free press is to have an unbiased documentation of events, particularly in circumstances like police brutality.

I’m all for the police arresting the protestors at this point, but this:

Do you have $40k to drop on a nice, quirky Cars and Coffee ride? Do you really love wagons? Do you really love Cadillac? Then maybe this is a nice price for you.

Does removing the anodization compromise durability at all? Or is strictly cosmetic?

Americans are a hell of a lot more likely to be on board with the whole Nazi camp than Germans are, my dude.

He’s committing fraud by manipulating the stock market. Dude’s a criminal.

One can only hope.

3rd Gear: Elon Musk uses his social media like a fourteen year old edge lord and I hate it so god damn much.

Apparently it’s no dice week at Jalopnik, because there is no god damn way a sane person would ever pay $13k for a 230k BMW.