Rob must’ve been in a shitty mood when he wrote this one, because it takes weirdly aggressive swipes at people who prefer manual transmissions (most Jalopnik readers) and cyclists (many Jalopnik readers.)

I was excited until I saw the slushbox.

So were you brain damaged at birth or did you have to work at it?

I’m saying nice price but hooo boy am I suspicious of that “As is” sales status.

Meh. Yes? Nice price I guess.

$6500 for a clapped-out, half way rotted old truck with a mediocre aftermarket top.

Am I the only person intensely suspicious of a dealership selling a non-running car? They literally have an entire mechanic shop built in.

I dunno why but I expected this article to be about the cheesesteak restaurant.

It’s always the Gooch that gets ya.

Honestly, I’m kind of disappointed in Grint, Radcliffe, and Watson for doing this.

You need to try staying in better hotels, friend.

I’ll echo some of the others here: there’s still a pandemic. Don’t travel. Stay home and stay safe.

Ah, the PT Cruiser drop top, the indisputably worst convertible in recent memory. I truly, genuinely hate these things.

My dude, you probably drive a car with 12 gallons of highly combustible, flammable, and potentially explosive fuel in a huge tank underneath the trunk. Cars aren’t really safe regardless of their energy medium.

Ew.

For the love of god, please keep any dangly bits of your body well away from escalators gaps.

That’s a fair point. This is even worse than millennia old technology.

Narrator voice: It was definitely the same.

Oh, but the real Fuckface von Clownstick couldn’t even get his hands on a football team despite desperately trying for years.