For the love of god, please keep any dangly bits of your body well away from escalators gaps.

That’s a fair point. This is even worse than millennia old technology.

Narrator voice: It was definitely the same.

Oh, but the real Fuckface von Clownstick couldn’t even get his hands on a football team despite desperately trying for years.

Oh, I’m sure it is. The nutjobs will be screaming about how this isn’t doesn’t decry sin and abortion enough, and WHY DOESN’T IT SUPPORT PRESIDENT TRUMP.

41 year old Zachary Levi plays a college football player.

You’re why we can’t have nice things.

Presumably Lenny Kravitz gave the role a hard pass.

Rob over here ruining another one of my days this week.

I think the new Integra’s going to be offering an auto. Might not be bad?

I’m looking forward to the inexplicable auto lovers crying about this here in the comment section.

The charges aren’t correct, the sentence is an absolute miscarriage of justice, and if the dude was white, he would have gotten a slap on the wrist in comparison.

Except that’s absolutely never how this plays out. Mandatory minimum sentencing is almost always used to imprison minorities while white rapists like Brock Turner get probation.

Me, reading the headline: “Wow that’s fucking nuts, how could this sentencing possibly happen?”

“I don’t see the problem, this car still has floors.” -David Tracy

Seriously. We’re getting to some pretty absurd demands about who can and should play characters.

Like, how, though? What’s the legal justification for requiring the dude to pay when he really genuinely didn’t do anything wrong in this circumstance?

Uh-huh. Sure they don’t.

5th Gear: Oh I guess Emperor Elon must have invested in Doge Coin for a quick flip.