7. The “Cesar the dog whisperer”: Give your back until the other person shuts up

Yes, a “in case I die” list is a must! Mr Safety and I have a once a month financial date that I hate but adulting is hard so meh I do it. He loves the financial stuff and I love letting him do it but I can’t be totally ignorant of the details.

Nope. We share the password to let us each pay our portion of the rent online, and that’s it.

This is AWESOME!.

Sometimes I think I’d pay extra for that.

It’s all fun and games until a software glitch causes Judge Lexy to sentence a child to death, and the other children dutifully comply.

I have taken huge discounts with shitty interest rates like this only to pay it off right after the loan goes into effect. I don’t finance my vehicles anymore.

A lawyer who doesn’t drink? Now THAT’s a joke.

Every time I walk by a piano... I can’t help myself.

Obligatory #26…

They’re adding value. Ya see...they put that price quote on at the factory...there’s nothing I can do about it.

Fighter.

Roll 3d6 down the line, consult the book on what requirements you meet.

I like to take the lobsters to a quiet and serene place and tell them about the farm we will have together and the rabbits they will get to pet and then when they are in the happy place I dispatch them

This is shocking news: 20% of the health advice on the doctors is proven by science?!?!

If you don’t want to waste food, don’t buy more at once than you’ll be able to consume while it’s fresh.

It’s a “sell by” date, not a “use by” date. So being scared of milk that was “good” yesterday but now “bad” today because the label says it could be sold yesterday but not today is ridiculous.

Using your sickly co-worker as any sort of “proof” of anything is stupid, especially when spoiled milk won’t make you sick…

If you french fry when you’re supposed to pizza, you’re going to have a bad time

She french fries the entire way down. I watched three times just to be sure. Doesn’t pizza even once. This woman should be on a stamp.