I got about 3 names in and skipped the rest. Drew nailed boring on the head.

An acquaitence from high school didn’t have kids & she & her husband were always traveling and posting great pics on social media of them having a blast, which I thought was great. 6 months ago they had a premie (like 25 weeks or some shit like that) and the realization that they weren’t just smart & not having kids,…

Stop using them. Just sit on the goddamn toilet.

Holy shit, even that list of boring players was boring. 

“It’s less about impressing women than it is ensuring that they are not profoundly horrified by you.”

We can’t protect ourselves. We can’t protect our sisters from the men that hurt us. We can’t go to the police, we can’t use whisper networks.

Shitty dude proves why he deserves to be on shitty dude list.

When I was a kid my mom used to make root beer floats pretty regularly. My dad and I loved them. She had a strong accent in English, so I always thought she was saying “black out” and I would even ask her for a “black out.” Only right now did I realize she was saying “black cow.”

Black Cow can refer to either:

My high school soccer coach was like Gagliardi. Never yelled, got most everyone playing time, and held practices that focused on having a good time and learning to love the game. The guy would host parties to watch old world cup games that he’d seen a thousand times, but he’d respond to every great cross and goal like…

I am not sure when the guy started going by the Texas Hammer, but there’s a guy named Mike Slocumb here who ran ads for years calling himself the “Alabama Hammer.”

The best football coach I ever had refused to give me a playbook because I wasn’t a starter, and when asked why I wasn’t a starter, told me it was because I didn’t know the plays. 

Oh the Chiefs are going to win. Then in the playoffs will all get to watch the Chiefs be down by two with a minute left and Andy Reid will run the ball 7 times and forget he has a timeout. I can't wait. 

the most impressive athletic achievement of our lifetimes

Man pulling the art for this was a challenge because while I knew I needed a baseball pic there were SO MANY photos of Thames and Hernan Perez crushing brews while somehow also smoking cigars.

Don’t forget that you will get nominated for an Oscar in the mean time.

Good to check back in and see that Deadspin soccer commenters are as worthless as ever! 

This is why the climate is so scary for men. You can have five women come out of nowhere and accuse you of stuff you did, and maybe because of the whims of the news cycle, people take it seriously for a little bit, and you have to lower your profile for a while before your fellow mediocrities welcome you back into the…

I calculated it out and he was ran about 13-13.5 miles per hour which is roughly a 4:30 mile. That dude a fast fat guy.