Also, wouldn't make sense for the person who brings gravy to be the one who made the turkey? You should point this out to her and stick her with the turkey. I dare you.

News Flash: Titties Maybe Not a Huge Deal

A few years ago, my boss overloaded me with so much work that there was no conceivable way I'd be able to go home and would have to spend Thanksgiving alone. Eventually, after realizing that he's a giant asshole, he invited me to join him and his fancypants friends for Thanksgiving at his fancypants private club. It…

My first Thanksgiving in Boston I volunteered to make the potatoes because everything else seemed too intimidating. What was not mentioned was that it was supposed to be mashed potatoes. I showed up with colcannon, a personal favourite, which is a potatoes with cabbage and bacon. Most of our group loved it, but one…

Also? Not relevant, but this top is bloody amazing.

I heard they also invited your roommate from Japan.

Can I rant on behalf of my grandma?

Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter always ended up in violence with my family.

So, this is last year. My wife left me (not that way), for the holidays and went to see her family alone for reasons. I was in grad school at the time and invited a bunch of my cohort over for a friendsgiving. I cooked a whole feast: huge, fat turkey, complete with aromatics, cooked to exactly the right…

I'm one of those people who has a late November birthday, which means every 3 years, or so Thanksgiving is hangover central. This is not a bad thing, I've gotten used to it, but it helps give some context.

My first attempt at a Thanksgiving turkey, when I was about 24, ended in a 1am trip to the emergency room and a lumpy second-degree-burn scar on the inside of my left elbow. (The lesser scars on my upper and lower arm - smooth but bright pink - finally faded after about ten years.)

My husband and I are staying in the house that was my Grandparent's home for more than 30 years. It's located in a summer resort town, but my family has always loved thanksgiving here and my grandmother was a fabulous cook. She made everything from scratch and started preparing a solid week in advance. It was her…

I was 8 years old, and prone to chronic migraines, the onset of which were preceded by sensitivity to light, or heightened smell. I woke up feeling tight in the head, another warning sign, but didn't think much of it. As guest arrived and nibbled on snacks I started to feel awful, I could smell the fish in the…

Mine was about three years ago. My immediate family usually goes to my sisters house for the holidays. She has a big new house about an hour from us and expects us to trek to her every year. That was cool for a while but she begs us to visit and then when we come she complains the whole time about us "tearing up her…

I think you should demand that they submit to a piss test before they get their free turkey dinner.

Tomorrow I spend the holiday with my entire extended family, all of whom recently shared this on facebook:

With a quick glance as I was scrolling down the page, I think she looks most like "the only dad she knows." After reading the copy, it is apparent that I am bad at this tabloid stuff.

What I cannot understand is why taxpayer money is being spent placing cops in retail stores. They can hire their own security at their own expense to protect their merchandise, how is their loss reduction a public safety issue?

You could almost call this article "taboob."

As I'm sure anyone on Jez who has been affected by breast cancer knows, this scar is so, so, so tame in comparison to what happens, surgically to so many women with breast cancer. Hell, my best friend's current areolas are tattoos.