Years ago, there was an SNL sketch with tweenage girls arguing which Jesus was the dreamiest. I remember my mom was really offended by it. I thought it was hilarious. It wasn’t about Jesus, but about his representation.

Sadly, they’ve been overtaken by Polar, which has been chugging along for a jillion years. Their pomegranate flavor is heaven. I am eagerly looking forward to their limited edition flavas for Summer 2015.

Try Zenni Optical. They have some fun and funky acetate frames, and you can get tinted lenses. They’re dirt cheap, like, starting around $6.99.

Do they have to? The fliers include contact info for the relevant enforcement agencies.

That’s beside the point. Not everybody is as well informed as you are. But the issue got a lot of press attention recently and that wider awareness is leading people to take direct action. Last I heard that was a pretty good thing.

Yes! I think I’ve finally quit smoking after decades, thanks to my vape, but damn if the whole Vape Culture isn’t riddled with douchebags. Luckily, I have a local shop where the guys are pretty cool.

No, you just look ignorant of trademark law.

Nope. Trademark law requires that you go after people hammer & tong, or you can lose protection.

I like Aveeno. I used Neutrogena for years because it was the only game in town, but when Aveeno came out with its sunscreen/moisturizer, I switched. Target has a knock-off version, too, and it’s worked just fine for me.

Why? How is that insensitive? Isn’t it just a borrowed word?

Good Lord, yes! I’m 52. My mom fought so much bullshit, she only told me about a fraction of it.

Hey, now! I love her holiday cards! They’re fun!

More like, “There goes the competition. Say hello to your new Senator, California!”

No, it is appropriate, because Sanchez is old like me, and this is stupid. Sanchez did a stupid thing, and it’s as stupid as having an Italian guy play an Indian.

They belong to both. Thing is, they signed a contract that said both had to sign a contract before they were implanted, and Loeb is trying to weasel out of it and get them implanted without Vergara’s consent.

Well, sure, but he whips this out now, after all this time? It’s a little suspect.

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I love Twigs’s dress! It looks like stained glass!

Also, too, Republicans are shitty at “economic issues.”

Because it is your sacred right, you dipshit. And fuck you for asking.