But you are a superhuman freak of makeup. Most of us lame-o’s need some time.

This is so true. When I was a bartender, I only broke a glass into the well on a busy night when I was trying to be as efficient as possible.

You were expecting surprises? It’s pretty plain from the premise what’s going to happen; same story we’ve seen a million times before. The plot is secondary to watching it executed by a great actor, and maybe a good script.

There’s no such genre. There’s country music, and then there’s Western Swing. If you ever use that term in Nashville, you’ll get some major side-eye.

It just wouldn’t be Jezebel without somebody pissin’ in the punchbowl.

Yup. I’ve lived all my life in either DC or Nashville, so hot, muggy summers are a way of life. I don’t have any maxis, but do have lots of floppy, tea-length cotton/linen dresses. If I saw a maxi I liked that had room for a bra, I’d snap it up!

He did that! He called off the dogs on the nuns a few weeks ago.

We used to have one like that...in the ’70s.

I know, right? They even had a guy in the funny hat Jack Warden wore.

But see, it’s perfect. He’s playing the Lee J. Cobb role, and Cobb was a right-wing asshole, too!

What the fuck? They’re using a particular app to reach the women who use it. I wasn’t aware that Tindr was only available to straight people.

You can’t decline the Kline.

I was a bartender a jillion years ago at a wine bar. I had a trajectory for my customers: from Sutter Home pink to Beringer pink to Pine Ridge Chenin Blanc.

I don’t think “off the continent” is gonna cut it. We should shoot them into the sun.

Agnes Day! Agnes Day to the white courtesy phone!

Wrong. Those memes aren’t mocking Christ, they’re mocking dumbass Christians.

Ugh. My (Lutheran) church uses bread during Easter, and I hate it! I don’t like getting The Most Precious Body of Our Lord and Savior stuck in my teeth. Plus crumbs. Give me a nasty wafer I can dissolve in my mouth.

This is true. The creation stories came up in the Lectionary a few weeks ago, and my pastor characterized them as poems, that they’re not about “How,” but “Who.”

Not to mention Catholics (and Mormons) were the ones who got prayer out of the schools, because they were all geared to Protestants.

This is why I roll my eyes whenever people say all cable channels should be a la carte. Your cable bill would go through the roof to hire all the additional call center employees taking channels off and on people’s lineups.