Lonzo’s dice have moved into Giri’s head and they didn’t even put down a security deposit.

Those dice look like they came straight out of season 1 of The Simpsons.

the Indians are set to complete renovations on their stadium (in part funded with $2.9 million of public funds collected from a “sin tax” on alcohol and cigarettes for repairs to Progressive Field)

From now on all player call-ups, send-downs, etc should be made live on the field. Hitters should be called out of the box by the third-base coach to hear they’re being sent down to Dunedin after the game.

I’ve been laughing at this for days now.

Preposterous! Turkey vultures and things of this nature.

He had more than 512 mail folders? I thought the idea was to keep a small number of categories. I see that pretty often with “sort over search” types, they end up creating a million subfolders and breaking Outlook.

Cris Carter of all people. “I’m going to be on your son and grow him from a boy into a young man, a man who has the brains to get a damn fall guy.”

Every single one of those adults with sedans during those years had a dire cautionary tale about using baseball cards to make bikes sound cooler as a kid.

Who the fuck is “you” Barry?

Good thing this post came along on how to accept an apology then, sounds like you can get some use out of it.

Embiid’s mug is pretty good in that shot too.  It’s me and my cat at the edge of the bed, 6 AM this morning.

trying journeys through Chinese menus

Deadspin knows it’s all about the readers looking for smart, entertaining coverage of sp-LOL NICK FOLES HAS A MASSIVE DICK!!

I love the little thing of coleslaw that comes with barbecue. It gives you a way to share something without giving up any actual good food.

A meeting with “free food” is just a demand to work during lunch/dinner time. Keep your crappy turkey sandwich and I’ll take a lunch break instead, thanks.

I’m all for slowing down and smelling the roses but I’m not gonna make other people miss their own shit so I can do it. Go ahead and stand on the right if you want, but intentionally blocking up traffic that could otherwise move past you is a psycho move.

I had a glass-topped stove in my last apartment and used the hell out of my cast iron pans on it.

Goddammit you've collected some bacon fat in your day. 

This is a better way for the statistics to be summarized, absolutely. They say “21% increased chance of x" because when you read it you think drinking cans of Dr Pepper gives you worse odds than russian roulette.