Mickey Mouse had one dog who was his pet and another who was his best friend. The ethics of this were never explored.

When the employee was like “Imagine a store...THIS BIG!” I was like “You mean like Amazon? Which doesn’t even require me to be wearing pants?”

+1 for the future, for sure.

NOPE. This is awesome. I want more. This is some legitimate Okie shit.

But I was already farting with abandon.

Khloe: Both pictures are shopped. Anyone who works on Photoshop every day (ie: not you, but yes me) can see with their two eyeballs and their brain-machine that your photographs are touched in many places, and — tellingly — touched in slightly different ways from photo to photo.

Khloe Kardashian you are a liar. And…

Sorry, I can’t even get past the existence of a golf channel.

Half the country’s eyes glazed over when president Obama said “ad hominem” because Latin’s hard and sounds kind of like Spanish.

If you knew the Hulk I knew,

you’d know his racist heart.



He’d never want to hurt white fans,

or his family from the start.



If you knew Hulk Hogan,

you would know how hard he fake fought...



and the way it brought a smile to people light, medium and dark

As soon as I started reading the bit about her having a ‘leopard print moment’ with handbags and tights my very first thought was......oh my god, did she skin Charli and make him into a bag?

You should change your name to ZombieMadamS. It is only fair...

He didnt die due to eating a cookie. He died because he came to a sudden stop.

I guess Russia never heard about THE FIRST AMENDMENT!!

Erin:

Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more.
Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea, and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into hey nonny, nonny.

Or “The Emperor’s New Clothes”

Well.. obviously for them it’s dead. But until Chris Pratt and Anna Faris break up. Love is still (barely) alive to me!!!

A relationship borne out of infidelity has pretty high odds of not lasting. Why? If they are willing to cheat with you, they are willing to cheat on you.

Am I supposed to be snarky about this because I can’t imagine why I should be. It seems like they’ve pulled off an amicable divorce and are focused on making sure their kids see their parents “together” and not acting like angry children. I have no problem with anything she’s saying. Good for her for being able to…