Dude is really on a bender

fielders shifted to left field when he batted

Aren’t there laws against transporting corpses across state lines?

Wondolowski?

What a lot of casual/bandwagon/flag waver US soccer fans fail to realize when we go up against a team like Argentina is that basically every player in their Starting XI would be our best player ever. I think everybody realizes there’s a gap, not everybody fully gets how big that gap is.

Jet fuel can melt teams.

“Could be worse, you could be in Steph Curry’s shoes.”

“Act like you’ve been there before”

She got the whole pipe I believe.

“Hope Hicks” sounds like Trump’s entire campaign strategy.

Shit. We know what happened the last time Mohammed was fed up with the jets.

Coming soon:

fuck off

Blackwater was an inside job!!! Wake up Westerosi! Crows are flying everywhere with scrolls that capture your every movement.

“I mean, of course we like him. After all, if you’re keeping score, it’s Jameis Winston 1, Criminal Justice System 0”

-The Undefeated

Who the hell brings an inflatable penis to a bachelor party?

Lombardi 3:16

I was just in Vegas talking about whether Bill Simmons sucks now with my buddies Gonzo, Roach, and J-Shart. We all used to read him back in college when the four of us shared a house. Back then, I’d read Page 2 on my laptop while I was dropping the kids off at the pool, until freaking J-Shart would break in and drop…

i miss the old bill simmons

I’m not great at spelling, but Benghazi has a “Z” in it.