Waiter: Would you like some pepper, Mr. West?

TWO SCOOPS

I’m afraid broken telephoning is becoming a huge part of this story as Passan openly reports, basically, “I heard rumors what he did is shockingly violent” in his column. Which, yes, maybe it was really violent and awfu and horrifying. Rumors can be true (see: Louis C.K.).

Speaking from personal experience, he'll probably end up fired at the end of the year.

Cool van, but maybe the front license plate is a bit on-the-nose?  Might as well paint “FREE CANDY” on the side.

Welcome to Jalopnik where everything you just said is wrong! Acceptable modifications to your statement include:

As a Gin Disliker, I object to these results and demand a complete recount.

Major League is the greatest baseball movie ever made and I will physically fight anyone who says otherwise.

Yes, hugfart, I’m the one who’s easily offended.

I’m gonna use that blocked-ad revenue money to buy you some nice, soothing butt-salve, and a mohair washcloth with which to apply it. Because you’re worth it.

JOKER MEME WHY ARE YOU SO SERIOUS/SOME PEOPLE WANT TO WATCH IT ALL BURN///GAME OF THRONES RED WEDDING LEBRON PHOTOSHOP FACE///OVERRIDE OVERRIDE///ISAIAH THOMAS IS SHORT FOR AN NBA PLAYER///MEMORY CRITICAL CRITICAL ERROR MEME EXPORT FILE TOO LARGE///SHUT DOWN IMMINENT///SPIDER MAN POINTING AT SPIDER MAN///NO HELP ME…

A slow-motion push-in on Raph’s smiling face as he slowly brings up into frame a medium format picture of some obscure car from the 90's that he shot. Would last the entire ad and be set to Ave Maria.

Nothing more needs to be said.

I suspect the reason I got into cars, when I was 3 or 4 years old:

But between Ford-dual-clutch-gate on the Ford Focus and every non-ZF-8-speed sucking, I’m leary.

You seem nice.

Looks like Richard Scarry’s Lowly Worm is doing lowly work.

you should say hopped up econobox one more time to get your opinion across...

It’s fortunate that Ned never overlapped with Rob in Milwaukee. Otoh, its something of a miracle that Buck Rodgers and Moose Haas made it through the ’82 season alive.